free falling

I let go of my thoughts in a cloud of thick acrid smoke.
I try to catch them as they drift out my window, they always seem to find a way to escape,
I grab and grab and grab, but through my fingers they evaporate, sometimes...
sometimes they linger, for a moment reminding me of their pungent odour,
and just as I wonder why I want them back,
why i'm trying to stop them leaving, but then they're gone
and
I
miss
them.

Missing thoughts, where I wish I had more solutions, but I have none to give,
no help to offer.
Drained.
All I had to supply washed away, a whirl of dirty water down the sinkhole. Thoughts
where i find myself less and less intrigued by you, less in love, in need of a world of my own, away from you, them, the sun, the moon.
AWAY.
Away from problems I cannot fix and problems you dont even try to fix, the complaining gives you something to
do, to talk about.
In need of a world away from the constant put down,
away from speaking and never being heard.
A world where I am not more enamoured by the writing, the words, the mind of one I've never met,
than I am with you.
More understood, more heard, more accepted by this one I've never met
only read.
free falling through those words into...

And sometimes I'll lie very still, quietly waiting, pretending not to notice these thoughts
swirling around my head, enticing me with possibilities and then.
through my fingers... just like that, a lifetime of thoughts lost
until tomorrow.

never mine

I mourn the child that you killed
that was never actually mine to begin with.

Missed count of the days you've missed
covering up your fear, with a cold
shoulder asking to run away together,
you knew the chance of your reasons
for us to run into the sunset were only
half mine, the other half belongs to the
addictive shadow I could never be, you
became one with each other on the
nights I wasn't there, it was a
blameless passion, fueled by a fundamental
incompatability that abscence only
strengthend, the dream of far away sunsets
ended in death of a creation with
eyes yet to gaze upon light.

I mourn the child that you killed
that was never actually mine to begin with.

tonight

What i saw in the sky
tonight will stay mine
will stay
will stay my secret

you'd never believe me anyway

Forsaken

My friends are all make believe.
They can't protect me now,
the starving vultures have
eyed out their lunch
and my friends are all make believe.

your lack of attention to detail
leaves me with numb coldness
it takes root somewhere
deep within, manifesting
itself during the most
inopportune moments

i belong

i belong to where the sun has gone
the small space between night and day
between sky and land
that in between space that longs
to be discovered
a journey
never completed

I think I love you Mister Crow.

Mister Crow had been dying inside slowly, one small piece of his heart at a time each time he exhaled
Dreams given up for promises
that were
lies
disguised as love

Dreams he cannot bare to dream anymore
they've become the lies
she fed
broken Dreams, broken promises
Mister Crow is broken

Mister Crow stare at the sky with broken wings
memories up high
fly through the sky
passing broken Mister Crow by

Dreams of flying, Dreams of love and
futures shattered
Mister Crow is broken
and its been so long since
he's flown he doesnt even remember the feeling

Mister Crow has been dying inside slowly, one small
piece of his heart each moment
he breathes
he has grown tired of this empty inside
tired of being a walking shell
lifeless
loveless

he tried to do something to fix
Mister Crow for good
to send himself on his final flight
he tried to find a way to fix
Mister Crow for good
the branch snapped and
Mister Crow lay
in the mud
wrapped in his broken
wings

cursing the tree for being weak
cursing the rope for not being tighter
cursing his lungs for being too strongs

wrapped in broken
wings
cursing everything
remembering everything
wanting nothing
but one more flight
an end

I THINK I LOVE YOU MISTER CROW

he heard a voice say
a voice he'd never met
a woman he'd never known

I THINK I LOVE YOU MISTER CROW

a voice he didn't know
pulled him up from the mud
made him Dream of flying,
and love and Dreams
gave him hope in Dreaming Dreams
gave him hope that one day
he wouldn't be broken

.........

firefly guide my way
shed your light
in front of me to
show me the way
behind of me to
remember where i'm from

will you be my firefly

ever see

will I ever see your face again
its almost over and my breath
is thin and i've forgotten your
face.

tell me something

tell me something new
i'm dead from all the old
excuses
excuses that don't make
sense
sense you never had
tell me something new
the tales you
spin have spun out of
control and landed in a heaped
mess at my feet
tell me something new
tell me the truth
the truth will be new